I just wanted to pause for a quick moment and give a little thank you to the year 2019 and all that it sent my way. I feel like I grow every year in many ways. I mean I know I do, but I think it’s important for me to stop and think about it, so I try to do that near the end of every year. Thought I’d share some of my thoughts with you. So, here goes.
1. How I identify myself is okay. I came to this conclusion this year. I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I have a full-time job in addition to all I do with my jewelry business. You know that question that often comes up in social settings? You know the one. “What do you do for a living?” Is this how I am supposed to identify myself? I can honestly say, I love my full-time job and am extremely grateful to have it but, what I do when I’m there is just not really a major part of who I am and how I identify myself. My jewelry, my current creative outlet, is my heart. Now that’s a much more fitting way for me to identify myself, honestly. It’s one of the things that makes me super excited to wake up every day.
2. Being afraid and respecting that fear is okay. Another conclusion I came to this year. It will probably be forever difficult for me to fully tease apart my fear and intuition. I’ve thought many times that I’d love to turn my creative side business into my full-time career. But I get so scared of failure. I struggle with that so much. Maybe one day I’ll be proudly able to report that I walked right toward my fear and jumped in full force. This year was not the year for that. Nor were any of the years prior. And I’m okay with this. Because the fear may actually be my intuition, reminding me that I am a very anxious person. And that living with the anxiety that may come along with the untethered feeling of being self-employed may actually not be worth the independent feeling of making my own way, my way, through life. This is so opposite of so much of what I read. So many people, are giving advice, very well intended advice, that says, “we must walk toward our fear”. I’m just not so sure that’s the perfect answer for me all the time. What do you think? I’m all ears here.
3. Pulling back every now and then is okay. Who knew? Not me, but now I do. Things don’t just fall apart when I pull back a little bit. I work so hard so much of the time. I truly love feeling busy and going full force. So, I do. I work hard and I work often and I’m very grateful for my drive, energy and my ability to use it to my advantage. But there have been times this year that I have had to pull back and slow down. I’m becoming more and more aware of my body and the things it is trying to tell me. Sometimes it’s telling me to slow down and rest. And sometimes It’s hard for me to ignore that message. In the past I’ve pushed myself too hard in an effort to muscle through it. So, I’m trying to listen closer and pull back when my body is telling me to do so. And do you know what? Nothing has fallen apart so far. It’s okay. I used to be so darn diligent about exercise. But I realized that trying so hard to get here or there 5 days a week to do this and that at this time, Bikram Yoga, you know I’m talking about you, was creating a lot of stress for me. I’d feel terribly guilty if and when I missed a class. Such an oxymoron kind of thing, right? A correlation between yoga and me putting stress on myself over it? Now, I do love exercise and think it’s very important. But pulling back a bit this year has felt right and good. And I haven’t seemed to fall apart yet. Thank goodness.
4. Eating right has so much to do with feeling good. I realize this more and more every day and kept it in mind all year. I think I’ve always been a good (healthy) eater. Well, most of my life. I got a little bit tubby, well, really tubby actually, for a while in high school. But I attended Weight Watchers, lost 20 pounds and became a lifetime member. That experience taught me a lot about what to eat more of and what to eat less of. I’ve been eating well this year, for the most part. Being the perfectly imperfect human that I am though, I have to say that things kind of fell apart during the holidays. Darn those Christmas cookies. They are so good! Argggg. Gives me something to focus on again in 2020. Eating well. I’m on it.
5. Being good to people makes me feel good. This isn’t something I necessarily learned this year. But it’s just such a big part of my mindset all year that it just has to go on this list. Saved the best for last here. I have said, for many years, that I want to be one of the reasons people have a good day. I never want to be the reason anyone has a bad day. I’m not perfect, as we’ve discussed, so this is an intention I set every day. I meditate a little bit on it every morning, over coffee, believe it or not. I know this is another kind of oxymoron thing. (I’m full of those). Meditation and caffeine. But hey, it works for me, because I feel good most days and that’s what I’m aiming for every morning that I’m lucky enough to wake up and experience another day here on our beautiful planet.
And thank YOU for taking the time to read this and for all you do in support of me and my beloved creative business!